the dream boy was within me
was that really a surprise?
took this long to decide
thanks to dusk to sunrise
i see now what i meant
what i wanted when i dreamt
of a boy that could be mine
of a boy brought to you by time
Girl of I, you once made me cry
Now I understand whats reality
Boy of dreams, what do you mean?
Just another gateway to fantasy
I am the dream boy, i'm in your head
I'm the smile you want for a while
I am the warmth you chase everyday
I am the voice that makes your heart beat
I am the love that you seek when you sleep
For the record, I am the head of this world
No one is making me stay, I am not trapped
Not by General's or monsters, or mercenaries
Only me and my dreams, that want to stay dreams
Not anymore
You wear the mask
You write the scenes
Dreaded night from miles away
High in the sky, far from may
Hails the tower in utter disarray
Though it crumbles and sways
Stands the director
Theres nothing to say
There is something to say
Frozen in shame he holds the mask
Mask of fiction, mask of diction
Mask of many functions and purposes
Strewn on the floor they are drowning
In the rain, metal and plastic are beaten
Swimming in the stew of the worlds tears
No tears left to cry? Well, that was a lie
You wear the shadow's mask
You wore them all
One man show, audience to all
Listen everyone
Thank you for watching
I hope this time, I can give you a real show
One not of me, but from me
Things I make from the bottom of my heart
Life full of love, my dear children
Lover boys voice on the phone
His voice is gonna bring me home
Maybe we're at war, or on the beach
He's miles away and within my reach
His lovely voice is gonna give us love
His beautiful voice is gonna make me-
what is right
i cant see on that side
so i dont know whats over there
i feel so bare
i thought id be full, but im empty
that morning happiness
i couldnt replicate it
love is not exhaustion
i love kisses but i despise yours
they drain me like nothing
you are what you eat, in a way
holding you means little
a body laying on mine
the scene of a crime
i was just complimenting you
and now youve fallen hard
but im the only one saying it
so it had to be done
take one for the team? somebody take one for me
someone come love her, i can do it anymore
she wears her heart on her sleeve and its all for me
but i dont want it! how do you tell a lonely girl to stop?
it isn't abandoning your heart
when did this make you a monster?
who said that?
who declared its your fault you lost her?
when did that happen?
when did learning to prioritize, make you the villian?
in a world full of greedy souls, its no doubt
whats not for me and is for you is no good
everything you better be is for me
a society that believes in money
a machine that runs on no sleep nor sanity
that heart is mine, that mind is mine
your soul is mine
but i need it all for my own crazy machine
and i dont want to share another slice anymore
when can i stop cheering you up with hugs and kisses that make me grey?
when is my company just going to be another company?
When are we going to be actual friends?
When am I going to love again?
No dream boy, no fake girl
what you see is what youll get, just a chest full of love
i miss myself, come back to me
come say hi to everybody, cmon
ive got to get out of my head
then go to bed
i need soda
i need that killer syrup
the kind i might throw up
that delicious swirl of dire
for the love of god, i need soda
if i dont drink some right now
i will expire
i need my carbon poison,
ill vape it, ill chew it frozen
pour it in a mold, a gummy of gold
dont care if its hot though i prefer it cold
ice pepsi is no different from hot cola,
i need that sweetness, i want the pop
the fizzle, the spark the zap
get me in that sugar trap and dont let it stop
being your friend and your enemy in disguise
there is something so addictive
of the feeling of being a friend
and an enemy in disguise
sitting beside someone
who trusts you wholey
blissfully unaware
of the bad intentions within you
the evil laws in making
it could be so easy
you have the key
just waiting for one more time
they really get on your nerves
for you to skip the lock
and break the door
yes, its true
i could, if i wanted too
i could have it sitting in my lap
how would you know? you trust me so
when i can see myself in the mirror and giggle with glee
and nights where i can slee comfortably
even if that is a future that only involves me
we shouldve hit him with the gavel while we still had the chance
but im all about chances, brother
chances are why cheaters win,
he plays many things but never the rules, thats on his list of things to bend,
right above women, he keeps those low
youre faith is so low,
you know they say love his blind
clearly, he's lost sight of every gift hes ever gotten
more than he deserved, he knew it too
he recognize nothing unless its in arms reach
theres a limit to his miles per heart, we know that too
he doesnt have coverage over seas or borders
now thats just cruel, his language is touch
his language is consistancy, and his language is his,
shame there is only one copy, hes destined to walk in circles, or kiss a mirror till his lips are as blue as his-
standards are not a crime, peoples expectations are theirs
his have been met once, a dream was in his hands and he wanted to wake up
thats what you think, thats what everybody thinks
everyone thinks they know a heart better than its body does
everyone sees what they want
love is subjective, in the eye of the beholder
curb your maw until youre fluent in his language yourself
agree to disagree
his heart is his but i can judge it all i like, its what i do
and you, are nothing but a cheaters advocate
you think youd only heard the half of it
but me and the jury, we've had enough of it
its time to drop the heart eyes and rose colored lense, time to find some sense
his heart is impure, ive seen it before
its nothing no 'perfect woman' can cure
you call it standard? i call it juncture,
he paves over sink holes to feel the rush of a fall, and then blame the government for it all
-
Sorry, I must be full of love, and you must be full of sex
This is why you're so crazy ex obsessed
You say you're looking for something, but you're trifling through nothing
every something you couldn't cherish and then cry with petals and pages
you scare love crazy you'll be looking for ages
your art is profound, your words are nonsense
your sex is as useless as your love
your love is empty, your love is void
your love is like breathing
you do what you do, you want what you want
you hate what you have, and you take what you can get
take what you say is yours, spoiled by fame
your tower is painted in cheap foul glitter
you'll blaze your path and forget the flames
and you don’t care and you don't miss her
curb your maw until youre fluent in his language yourself
disgusting transgender demon
you are nothing but wrong
defier of god, imposter of creation
you spit in the water turned wine
and shit upon the flesh that is bread
you speak in vain names, and live for nothing but sin
children of the devil, you walk earth as parasites
latching unto our young, spreading your heretic rhetoric
infesting their minds with the lies of choice
poisoning them with the idea of desicion
you decieve them, you turn them to the antichrist
how dare you show yourself before my eyes
you assault me with your wretched vessels and your speech of tongues
vile demon of humanity's mistakes, you overpopulate hell with your numbers
but there is no where else for you to go, heaven will never accept you
ghastly hideous beast, stay away from my daughter
you have crawled inside of her and blackened her brain
youve rooted into her muscles and weakened her blood
the devil rests within her, breathing her oxygen
you speak with her voice and move with her body
you cut her hair, and bind her chest
youve made my little girl ugly and wrong
ugly and wrong
and she is so sweet
your wretched daughter is my lover, i eat her nectar and choke on her cock
i kiss her teeth and lap at her nose blood, i worship every cell in her divine body
she has made it herself, she has lined and cut herself to perfection
he who has been born a woman shall grow into the most delicous man
i adore his breasts and tongue his slit
his long hair all across his head and body intoxicates me
oh, the way his canines gnash and his horns stab my shoulders
the art he paints with the blood leaking out his fingernails
he is perfection in everyway, so beautiful and right
beautiful and mine.
just a whole lot of nothing
a drop in the ocean, a firecracker in space
i'm a figment of my own imagination
it's not even real, it was never there
nothing tangible, just a thought
to kick and throw around
doesn't mean anything when the day is done
or when i look in the mirror
or i hear my voice or i look into someone's eyes
its nothing, a whole lot of nothing
realness so far detached
i don't know why i ever wanted anything in the first place
if it just goes nowhere and never means anything
"What about you?"
Huh?
"If it means nothing to the world, does it mean anything to you?"
What does it matter what it means to me? it doesn't mean anything to me...
no it doesn't...
im just playing with my dolls still... pretending i'm the dad... just so the family has one in our little game...
or so the people can finally leave you alone, a man loves to escape from consequence. imagine all the predators directing their sights from you, imagine the solitude. the peace of mind, knowing you will be a man living in a man's world.
I do love being unbothered, I'll admit, but that all comes with a greater family affecting price, and i dont think it's worth it. just not now, at least.
"Beware the belief that transition will fix your problems, it fixes exactly 1 problem and that usually helps the others."
how profound